This is long overdue.
Can't remember the last time I had this slot of time to just get lost in my thoughts, not that I have been thinking much anyway. Last week had been one of the most hectic meeting sessions since I've taken up this post. Mind you, a big chunk of stress didn't come from meetings though. Actually, the Awards night had been a random meatball that dropped onto my desks a few months ago, and only a couple of weeks ago I had been designated the coordinator. It wasn't as if I couldn't handle it, but it was certainly a challenge on top of the stuff I already have on my plate. Let's just say, my appetite was 'forcedly' enlarged.
The night wasn't exactly how I planned it to go in terms of flow - a few hiccups with timing of the videos and bringing up the awardees - but getting a "Well done today. Many happy people" from my boss made it all worthwhile. Luckily - or not- due to the mistake of rushing the script, we had enough time to fit in my section of "Best Dressed"! Good thing, because that was the first to be cut should we have ran short of time. Though, I think I've proven my point that it was the most entertaining part of the program for everyone.
The past few weeks have certainly been a challenge, and in a good way, forced me to deal with things that I've dreaded to face. Nonetheless, just picturing what is ahead for me this month, I don't think I can afford to lose any more focus or control. You could say, I'm not setting myself up to fail or, worse, disappoint.
After all that's been said and done, "le bf" will no longer bring reference to anyone in particular anymore. It wasn't so much about being miles apart physically, but miles apart on the inside. I can't quite explain why at the moment, but it will be a subject for further pondering later on. At this moment, I cannot give anymore attention to this with everything else that's happening. Like I always say, if I can't do my best, I'd rather not do it at all.
So what else is happening? Well, work for one. Moving for two.
I admit I haven't had the time to write recently due to my brains being totally preoccupied with work that I simply don't want to think or question "life and its splendors" like I used to in this blog. Nevertheless, tonight is the night I decide to write it out...
Why? Because words have such magical powers. What kind of powers are we talking about? Well, they can define all the what, where, when, why, and how into something more solid - more tangible. Thoughts taking on another form allows it to become less bundled. Truth be told, that's probably the only reason I write. Just to be able to pour the heart out of all things that can become overwhelming, stressing or painful. Of course, happy thoughts are penciled down too. Actually, whatever floats around in my mind is better written than to be drifting. Hence, the pen and journal all prepared by my bedside - and this sanctuary of a blog.
Mostly, it's to allow me to empty out the whole scenario, then to read it as a bystander. Certainly, I can shock myself sometimes in the kind of things that takes more prominence than others. What I cared. What I noticed. What I wouldn't. What I didn't. All those become ever so apparent. The choice of words, the emphasis on ideas, and the whole thought process drawn down in blue-print fashion. I couldn't be more understanding of myself upon reading it once more.
Actually, that's how I've come to learn about myself these years of writing. There should be no one in the world that takes the business of understanding oneself more seriously than the person himself/herself. I'd take it to shame if someone else knew me better than I do! So, I write for the sake of keeping myself up to date about me.
To sum it all up, one must write. A post, a tweet, a status update, a blog, an email, or whatever you fancy - just write. You would be surprised how therapeutic it can be...or addictive for that matter! I, for one, write somewhere about something all the time. It's not an official prescription, but it's free. So, why not?